I’ve just viewed one of my all-time favorite movies again. And not on DVD. I toddled to the Grandin and paid full-price for my ticket just like the first-timers lined up behind me. Until now I’ve always scoffed at those who go to see movies over and over again. I considered double viewing a waste of time and money. Why return to see the same flick that will undoubtedly come out on tape or DVD sooner than later? Aren’t there better ways to spend two hours on Saturday afternoon, even in cool weather?

Perhaps. But this go-round I was more prepared for the unfolding plot sequences; the superb acting on the part of all minor characters; the drumming crescendos of the accompanying music. This simply was a five-star movie and I can truthfully say I enjoyed it twice as much as before. And no, I am not going to reveal the title and be accused of brazen advertising tactics.

Having experienced this drama doubly, I cannot help but ponder the question of what if...one could replay episodes in one’s life for the second time? I don’t mean going back to infancy and proceeding through the decades. I mean what if you were capable of selectively replaying a few high and low moments of one’s life, with options on reversing the outcomes or responses here and there.

I’ve had a few sleepless nights to think about the realm of possibilities here. What would I most like to see in re-runs?

It doesn’t surprise me to admit that there are few, if any, episodes in my own life that I would like to revisit. That is, my life before marriage and children. Looking back, my growing up years, education track, travel plans, unrolled fairly as I had hoped. Then the scene shifts as my own children began to grow up, develop, and graduate. I think the first scene I would replay is that of my first born graduating, with some honors, from high school. Did I cheer him loudly enough? Did I tell him how proud I was of all his accomplishments, not just graduating, but graduating well? I hope so. And then the college graduations. Did I show up on time for each of them? Was I enthusiastic in my congratulations? And how about the marriages?

I recall that I was a mite stunned when my first child married. Perhaps I could go back to that moment and remember everything with clarity, and smile broadly instead of tearing up at the prayers. And at the last wedding, just a few months ago, could I please revisit the scene and listen more closely to the wonderful priest who delivered the homily with such grace?

I think holding my first grandchild (there are now 12) in my arms was one of the most moving moments in my life. That warm little bundle nestled in the crook of my arm sealed a bond between us for life. And there are the dance recitals-did I actually see the pirouette executed so exquisitely? Rewind the film, please.

Sports events, vacation times, there are too many to recount. And of course I’d skip all the bad and sad episodes. In real life they cannot be avoided; in reel time, that’s the film editor’s job. In this case, I am the film editor in charge.

As I sit here pondering my “review” of second go-rounds, I am struck by the fact that this is totally against my philosophy of never looking back. Forgive me, readers, for this lapse into the past. Henceforth I’ll take my own advice, or that of Rose McNess, and “look ahead with hope!”
Barbara Dickinson is looking ahead with hope for a warm and sunny May!

Author Barbara Dickinson lives in the Roanoke Valley.

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